Daisy Bateman

The Woods-Williams Subtlety in Movies Act of 2006

Proposed: That no movie which contains in it singing and/or dancing penguins shall also include, as its climactic scene, live human actors depicting the members of the UN debating a ban on fishing in the Antarctic oceans, inspired by the power of dance. Violation of this law shall result in fines not less than a third of the gross earnings of said movie, to be paid to the North American Professional Fisheries Association. Failure to pay will be punished by the employment of government agents to attend all screenings of the offending movie and declare, “You have got to be kidding me” at regular intervals.

All fines are to be doubled if said movie employs a rendition of the song “Leader of the Pack” for dramatic purposes.

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