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Daisy Bateman

Author of MURDER GOES TO MARKET

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Month: December 2006

The Three Kinds of People

December 28, 2006 by Daisy Bateman

1. those who would look at a bowl of stale doughnuts and think nothing, 2. those who dream of throwing them and 3. those who would actually do it. (Source: A Czech humorist, name unknown because it didn’t come up on the first couple of pages of Google hits.) I think I’m the second kind … Read more

Categories random 2 Comments

GI/BIGG 7: Last-Minute Shopping

December 24, 2006 by Daisy Bateman

Good Idea*: The fanciest bottle of wine at the supermarket you can afford. At this point, you’re making up for a lack of thoughtfulness with expense. *Unless the intended recipient is a small child or recovering alcoholic. Or current alcoholic, for that matter. That’s just mean. In these cases, admit defeat and give cash. Bad … Read more

Categories gift guide Leave a comment

GI/BIGG 6: For the Cook

December 22, 2006 by Daisy Bateman

Good Idea: A paring knife. Of course, the person you are shopping for already has a paring knife. Or, at least, he or she is sure there is one around here somewhere, only people keep taking it to open packages or unscrew the back of the dvd player, because who knows where the screwdriver went, … Read more

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Surgery Is Not Awesome

December 21, 2006 by Daisy Bateman

But you know what is? Being able to see out of both eyes.

Categories life Leave a comment

GI/BIGG 6: For the Person You Don’t Know What to Get For- Male

December 13, 2006 by Daisy Bateman

Good Idea: Nerf Weaponry You might think the guy you are buying a gift for is too mature for this kind of thing. You are wrong. Bad Idea: Cologne. Most guys do not want to wear cologne. Those who do have one particular kind that they have been applying the exactly the same amount of … Read more

Categories gift guide 4 Comments

Daisy’s Big Gay Night Out: Music, Produce and People From Inside My TV

December 8, 2006 by Daisy Bateman

It was a really great time, right up until the bananas hit me in the head. Followed, of course, by the tangerines. At least I got one of those. Perhaps I should start at the beginning. The beginning is a text message, received by me last Wednesday afternoon, asking if I wanted to go to … Read more

Categories music Leave a comment

GI/BIGG 5: For the Person You Don’t Know What to Get For- Female

December 2, 2006 by Daisy Bateman

Good Idea: Chocolate Actually a good idea, regardless of gender. Unless they’re allergic, then not so much. Also, avoid the fruit-flavored filling, unless you know otherwise. Bad Idea: Candles. Nobody needs candles. It’s the gift that says, “Here. I got you a gift.”

Categories gift guide Leave a comment

Speaking of Holiday Music…

December 1, 2006 by Daisy Bateman

I have a bone to pick with the song “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” by Band-Aid (which, if you will recall, was one of those collections of famous singers who cut charity singles for Africa, back when it was a place you sent money to, rather than where you went baby shopping), and I feel … Read more

Categories music 6 Comments

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