Daisy Bateman

Every Book Ever Written: Condensed Version

Self Help:
If you want something, work hard to get it, but remember that you may need extra skills and some luck.

Weight Loss:
Calorie Input > Calories Expended = Weight Gained
Calorie Input < Calories Expended = Wieght Lost Memoir:
Everything that ever happened to me is Very Important, because it happened to me.

“I don’t love you.”
“I don’t love you either.”
“I love you!”
“I love you too!”

“Look out!”
“Oh no!”

“I don’t know.”
“I don’t know.”
“I don’t know.”
“I know!”

Science Fiction:
The future? Gonna suck, but the clothes will be cool.

And now they’re all dead. The end.

Literary Fiction:
Everything that ever happens to these characters is Very Important, because they are characters in a work of literary fiction.

It’s easy to get rich, but it takes a lot of money.

Travel Narrative:
I had a great time on my trip! Wanna see some pictures?

We don’t need no steenkin’ internal combustion engines.

Celebrity Autobiography:
Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Why can’t I have any privacy?

We’re all going to die, and it’s all their fault.

Children’s Board Books:
Printed with non-toxic ink.

4 thoughts on “Every Book Ever Written: Condensed Version”

  1. you should submit that to MCSweeney’s. it reminds me of some of their lists things. its an easy way to decide what you wnat to read. pick form the list, pick random words for a title, find book.


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