I love Project Runway, because it has highly skilled people competing in what they are best at. And I love judging people because, who doesn’t? But, since every blog maintained by a female between the ages of fifteen and thirty-five has long since done a rundown on the contestants, I thought I would judge them by their hair:
Carmen: Highly sculptural: part high fashion, part horrible incident in a wind tunnel.
Chris: Standard male haircut, $12.99 at Supercuts.
Jack: Standard male haircut, $250 at sleekly minimalist salon.
Steven/Rami: Taking the graceful approach to male-pattern baldness and elimiating the evidence.
Kit: Very late-period Cyndi Lauper, but in a good way.
Christian: “A Flock of Seagulls in high humidity.”
Elisa: Hair is pleasant, attractive. The crazy is in the eyes.
Jillian: Perfect pretty princess curls. I’m not sure quite why, but I seem to hate her.
Kevin: This season’s token straight man celebrates with some wacky facial hair.
Ricky: Wears a lot of hats: the “hoping no one will notice” approach to male-pattern baldness.
Update: Having seen the latest episode of the show, I can confirm that he is not, in fact, bald. The reason for the hats remains a mystery.
Sweet P: Like her, hate the bangs. Not so much “stylish and youthful-looking” as it is “mutton dressed as lamb.”
Victorya: Hair that will stop at nothing to win.