Daisy Bateman

Novel Writing By Committee, Several of Whom Are Not Aware They Are On the Committee: Update

Sadly, it appears that Cassie Edwards will not be eligible for the National Book Award, due to a little-known provision in the rules that prevents a book from winning if more that 10% of said book has already won the Pulitzer. But it seems like a shame to waste such an excellent, and I feel that the intersection of romance has only barely begun to be explored. (To aviod the problems recently experienced by Ms. Edwards, you will notice that I have clearly attributed every one of my sources, making perfectly fine for me to use them in this way.)
I give you:

Savage Scientists

Dr. Daphne Faireweather, M.D. PhD., slinked into the lab, her long auburn hair trailing flowingly behind her. As she arrived, Dr. Rock Steele, M.D. PhD D.D.S., looked up from his microscope, which has a light source and a condenser. The condenser is a lens system that focuses the light from the source onto a tiny, bright spot of the specimen, which is the same area that the objective lens examines.*

“The cell is one of the most basic units of life. There are millions of different types of cells. There are cells that are organisms onto themselves, such as microscopic amoeba and bacteria cells. And there are cells that only function when part of a larger organism, such as the cells that make up your body. All cells have a ‘skin’, called the plasma membrane, protecting it from the outside environment. The cell membrane regulates the movement of water, nutrients and wastes into and out of the cell. Inside of the cell membrane are the working parts of the cell. At the center of the cell is the cell nucleus. The cell nucleus contains the cell’s DNA, the genetic code that coordinates protein synthesis. In addition to the nucleus, there are many organelles inside of the cell – small structures that help carry out the day-to-day operations of the cell**,” he emoted profusely. “Have you had lunch yet?”

“Mitosis is nuclear division plus cytokinesis, and produces two identical daughter cells during prophase, prometaphase, metaphase, anaphase, and telophase. Interphase is often included in discussions of mitosis, but interphase is technically not part of mitosis, but rather encompasses stages G1, S, and G2 of the cell cycle,” she cooed, her diaphanous lab coat clinging firmly to her buxom curves. “I was thinking maybe Thai.”***

“Hmm,” he declared, leaning on the Bio-Rad iCycler, which offers excellent thermal performance, fast ramping, intuitive programming, a choice of reaction modules with different assay formats, and optional upgrades for real-time PCR. Many user-friendly features, including help screens and reference lists, guide you through experiments. The high-resolution graphical interface simplifies file and protocol management and allows printing of a variety of reports.**** “I guess I could go for that.”

“By the way,” he went on, inscrutably. “Did you know that the domestic ferret (Mustela putorius furo) typically has brown, black, white, or mixed fur, an average length of approximately 20 inches (51 cm) including a 5 inch (13 cm) tail, weigh about 2 pounds (1 kg), and an ordinary lifespan of 7 to 10 years? It’s a close relative of the polecat, but it is as yet unclear whether it is a domesticated form of the European Polecat, the Steppe Polecat, or some hybrid of the two.*****

“I love you,” she cried bemusedly, flinging herself inevitably at him.

2 thoughts on “Novel Writing By Committee, Several of Whom Are Not Aware They Are On the Committee: Update”

Leave a Comment