Daisy Bateman

New Poll: Which Enlightentment Philosopher Had the Worst Hair?

They debated the nature of truth, of morality, indeed of existence itself. They influenced modern thought and writing in myriad ways and several of them had characters on Lost named after them. But one key question about the philosophers of the Enlightenment period remains: Who among them would be least likely to get a starring role in a Pantene commercial? Here are your contenders:

David Hume:

Scottish. Determinism, empiricism, curly pageboy.

Immanuel Kant
German. Transcendental Idealism, “Categorical Imperative”, thinning widow’s peak. Possibly a wig.

John Locke:
English. Empiricism, epistemology, “tabula rasa”, liberalism, wavy crazy-old-guy hair.

French. Irony, satire, deism, powdered curls.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau:
French. Nationalism, Romanticism, tightly curled bob.

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