Dear Federal Government,
Thank you very much for the lovely economic stimulus check. As it happens, I’ve been having a fairly stressful week, and your letter was just what I needed to make it better. Particularly since the someone mentioned to me yesterday that Barney’s (the intimidatingly fancy department store, not the burger place with the excellent curly fries) was having a sale. So, since I was out anyway, I happened to wander by there, and picked up a little something for myself:
Cameron thinks I’m insane, but he won’t admit it. But what was I going to do? They were on second markdown.