Have you ever wondered what every pair of shoes I own looks like? No? Too bad, because you’re going to find out*. That’s because I have decided to dedicate the month of September to bringing you pictures of them all, for your comments, snark, criticism and, in some cases, threats of theft (you know who … Read more

Project Hairway: The Return

Back by Popular Demand (by which I mean, Mary mentioned it), I bring you my traditional commentary on the new season of Project Runway, in which I judge the new crop of contestants strictly by their hair. I’m shallow, but consistent. Christopher Straub: Has grown a beard that outlines his face, without actually contributing anything … Read more

For Everything Else, There’s Puppies

Kitten, rescued from wild colony by Mom’s friend: $0Food, litter, toys and treats for kitten: $70Veterinarian visits for kitten: $180Bi-monthly baths/nail trims for kitten (to protect allergies and couch): $35/visitNew logic board for my laptop, to replace the one destroyed by kitten knocking over a glass of water onto it: $345Pet ownership: *$^&ing priceless

Jane Eyre and the Jackalope

(In an effort to hop on the classic literature/monster bandwagon (See: “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” and the upcoming “Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters”) I present you with the opening lines to my new literary masterpiece, which I expect to earn me the adoration of the adoring masses and a honking big advance within … Read more