Daisy Bateman

Programming Update

Due to a sudden upswing in foreign-language spam (some of which I only learned the nature of when I got my coworker Wenge to translate it for me), I’m adding a word-verification step for comments*. That should teach those dirty-minded robots! If, by “teach” you mean “not affect at all.” We now return you to … Read more

Another Christmas Song

It occurs to me that my Christmas song posts have, in the past, been somewhat negative in nature. There was this analysis of what remains, in my opinion, the most annoying Christmas song ever. (Yes, even worse than the barking dogs. At least they didn’t take themselves so damn seriously.) And, of course, this classic … Read more


(Excerpts from the yet-to-be-written book based onthis actual headline.) It was past midnight in the Cancun Museum of Science and Juan, the obviously expendable security guard, was making his rounds. Humming La Bamba, he played his flashlight across the exhibits on soap bubbles and rainbows and 11-dimensional M-theory, in the bored manner of doomed security … Read more

Scent of a Dead Person

Looking for that perfect gift for someone with a celebrity obsession and very little understanding of molecular biology? How about some cologne “Engineered from the(mtDNA)* of some of the most recognized Celebrities & Famous people in the world“? Celebrities and Famous people! The scent of DNA! And it’s on sale! I don’t see how you … Read more

Shoesday: Green Christmas

We are suffering from brutal winter conditions here in the Bay Area at the moment, by which I mean it is raining. Rain is pretty much it for winter around here*, which suits me just fine. People who move here have a way of complaining about how they don’t like it that the seasons don’t … Read more

Abandon All Taste, Ye Who Enter Here

Are you a fan of true late-mid-century, high-grade American design fromage? Then trust me when I say that you need to book yourself onto the Carnival Elation toot suite (that’s French for “before you sober up”). It is a truly remarkable thing, not only for the quality of tacky decorations, but the thoroughness with which … Read more

Shoesday: The Return

You know how some weekends you start off just getting on a cruise ship, minding your own business, and the next thing you know you’ve spent way too much money on piƱa coladas and slept in so late that you were having your breakfast around the time most people would consider more appropriate for “lunch,” … Read more