Daisy Bateman

I Do Not Think That Word Means What You Think It Means

A collection of instances in which people on Twitter* have failed to fully grasp the definition of the word “literally.” (Handles have been removed to protect me from angry, if poorly spelled, comments.)

My five and two year old literally lost their mind when we pulled up to the sign that said Welcome to Disney world..
Ah, yes, a day in the Heart of Disney with mindless automatons. These truly are the magic years. (Also: They only had one?)

SHES MAD PUMPED RIGHT NOW! her eyes literally popped out of her head! she wants to know if they have pictures?
Of her eyes? Wouldn’t be my first concern, but okay.

I literally want to die lol
Considered a McQueen joke, decided against it. Too soon, and not really that funny.

Falling up…literally
Forgoing the traditional path of refereed journals, researchers in Bern decide to announce their anti-gravity breakthrough via Twitter.

Now im literally walking through hell for her
Say hi to Hitler for me!

I literally just DIED at Geri’s walk. ZOMG
Maybe you can meet up with the last guy?

Ive got ants in my pants! Literally!
Another picnic goes horribly wrong.

Hatsumomo is on fire! Literally!
Stop drop and roll! Stop drop and roll!

Are you kidding? I’m stuck with the angel I literally ripped out of a higher plain of existence and interrogated for an hour.
I don’t know what this means, but I’m pretty sure it’s at least a short story plot.

lol sure u was! All I can say is! U got saved by the bell literally!
Did it block a bullet?

Omg I just turned to the game and my heart literally shattered. UGHHHHH!!!
Yeah, I guess that is the noise you would make.

today was a fairytale. literally.
Did someone have to cut off their toes? Die and turn into seafoam? Marry someone who turned into a bear?

And finally, a moment of hope for the future:

whats uppppppppp people.. bout to bounce in the shower.. not literally. just figuratively.

*By the way, if you spend any amount of time reading the way people in general write on twitter, your brain will melt and dribble out your ears.** Word of warning.
**Not literally.***
***But you’ll wish it had.

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