Daisy Bateman

Bok bok bok RAWR

Yesterday, birds came from dinosaurs*. Today, they’re going back. At a factory poultry farm in Nebraska, someone has been playing with nature. In the ongoing attempt to raise faster-growing, more flavorful birds that can be raised in ever-smaller cages, breeders accidentally activated ancient dormant genes, turning the mildest of farm animals into bloodthirsty killing machines … Read more

Whinesday: Ow! That Was My Tooth!

(Yes, this is two Whinesdays in a row. What can I say, my life is hard.) Dentists lie. Not in general, as far as I know; it’s entirely possible that in their personal lives they are vigorously, painfully honest, annoying their loved ones and embarrassing their friends with their devotion to telling the entire truth … Read more

Shoesday: Serendipity

Sometimes things just come together. Like when the man my dad was emailing with about some radiation product development turned out to be the husband of my beloved kindergarten teacher, who not only remembered me and my brother, but also that he was interested in numbers and I loved the Narnia books (I was fairly … Read more

Confused Tomato Finds A Way

Confused Tomato doesn’t know why he had to start life upside-down. He has no interest in the idea that it was supposed to be good for him, to protect his leaves from the mold that has claimed the lives of so many of his brethren, and his stems from the strain of too-heavy fruit. No, … Read more

Shoefinder: David

(Apologies for the wonky text formatting in this post; the new blogger photo thing is being entirely obnoxious.) Something new this week: Our first ever pirate! Also, he’s a dude. David is not looking for any shoes in particular, just “interesting ones” and he does have some parameters. Specifically, that along with being interesting, they … Read more


That’s right, Cheez-Its. You have a problem with that? Because I do, apparently. They sell them in the vending machines at work, for the bargain price of seventy-five cents for a 2-ounce bag, and it is somewhere between sad and scary the number of excuses I come up with for buying them on a near-daily … Read more

Whinesday: Hey, This Is Hard

As some of you* may be aware, I have been pursuing a dream of becoming a novelist for some time now. It hasn’t gone very well so far, but that isn’t what I’m whining about today. No, today I’m complaining in advance, because I have realized how tough it would be if I actually succeeded. … Read more

Locked On Target. Firing in 3, 2, 1. . .

Taking a break from the tomatoes (still growing, still flowering, still confused*) and bring you, the people of the internet, the one thing you can’t find anywhere else on this great series of tubes: cat pictures. This is Rumpole: He finds the plastic thing at the end of his string toy much more interesting than … Read more