Join me, won’t you, as we descend into the depths of the expensive and hideous. No snorkle required!* Burberry Prorsum coat, $5495 “What do you mean the bottom of the coat got caught in the shredder, and the only material we have on hand is a bath mat? We’re a high-end design house! We can’t. … Read more
There won’t be much going on here for the next week or so, except for one Ugly Clothes for Rich People post that I am going to write now and set to go up at some random time, because I am going to be in Vegas, testing the effects of heatstroke on a hangover. It … Read more
Should keep me busy for a while. UPDATE (11:00 am): Progress! UPDATE 2 (4:30 pm): Success!
While I prepare another round of sartorial horrors for your viewing pleasure, let’s all look at this and remind ourselves that yes, there still are beautiful things in the world: Miu Miu Buckle Strap Sandal There. I feel better already.
Seriously, I can keep doing this forever. Donna Karan jacket, $1557 The Mummy Returns And Opens A Boutique In South Beach Rodarte for Opening Ceremony Cape, $603 Young lady, you take off your Aunt Sybil’s valance right now and apologize to her. That’s no way to be handling a fine window treatment. Anna Sui pants, … Read more
Or, Summertime, And The Walking Is Sweaty Sometimes, you have to compromise. Sure, you might want to move into a treehouse, live on Pixi Sticks and sleep until four every day, but since your employer, dentist and reality won’t accept that you settle for surreptitiously picking your nose during meetings. It’s the same for me … Read more
You can’t say I didn’t try. I gave it two rounds of soaking in the recommended dechlorinated ice water, a paper bag over it to keep it damp and its very own plate to stand on and hardly bothered it at all, no matter how much I wanted to know if it was working. But, … Read more
NEWSBREAK: Exploding watermelons terrorize Chinese countryside* Police departments nationwide have been put on high alert for produce trucks entering population centers and gardeners are encouraged to register existing melon patches with Homeland Security. Should you happen to see any unattended fruit, do not approach it; retreat to a safe distance and contact the authorities immediately.*Some … Read more
We now continue our ongoing series of “Things You Couldn’t Afford, And That’s Okay”: Thom Browne Pants, $899 Are you an old man? Were you already an old man in 1987? Are you, currently, playing golf? Well, you still shouldn’t be wearing these. Givenchy Shirt, $2500 She is going to hunt down the people who … Read more
It’s been a rough spring here in Patioland. Aside from the unseasonable cold and wet weather, to which we Californians have been responding with our usual sangfroid*, there is the very real possibility that I made a mistake by reusing the soil from last year’s herbs, which may be infested with Herb Funk or something. … Read more