|See by Chloe shorts, $175|
Do you really want to take Cheetos-era Britney as your fashion role model?
|Rodarte for Opening Ceremony shorts, $764|
I’m pretty sure these are lederhosen. I’m entirely sure they’re stupid.
|Costume National dress, $350|
It’s a dress! It’s a bikini! It’s neither!
|Moschino dress, $1690|
If they mated: a decorative toilet seat cover and the curtains at Applebee’s.
|Comme des Garcons dress, $425|
Perfect for spending a relaxing day at the beach getting dragged out of the surf by fishermen and thrown back because you’re not in season.