Daisy Bateman

Ugly Clothes For Rich People, Part VI

I’ll stop when they do.

Preen skirt, $343

“Excuse me, um, I don’t want to embarrass you, but I think you’ve got your skirt caught in your underwear somehow.”
“Oh no, it’s supposed to be like that. It’s fashion.”
“. . . Oh. Okay.”
(Repeat conversation ~12x per day.)

John Galliano jacket, $990

It’s a jacket! It’s a life vest! It’s a dessert topping! It does all of these things equally well!

Etro jacket, $1550

Looks like you bought it at a rummage sale at a church for blind people.

Costume National pants, $175

That isn’t where the belt goes.

JC de Castelbajac dress, $390

There’s whimsy, and then there’s looking like you have dressed up as a sexy luggage tag for Halloween.

Marni shirt, $265

Because really, who hasn’t been at the dentist’s getting their teeth x-rayed, caught a glimpse of their reflection in the lighting fixture and thought, “My god, I look fabulous!”

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