Daisy Bateman

Ugly Clothes For Rich People, Part VII

Surprising Fact: In the time it took me to stop goofing off and write another one of these posts, many of the items I had chosen sold out.

Unsurprising Fact: Most of the remaining items have been deeply discounted, making them less hilariously expensive than they were. But I think we can all agree that we can still find better things to spend a hundred and thirty-eight dollars on. Like 414 packs of pixy sticks.

Costume National dress, $265

Ever have trouble deciding which tablecloth to staple to your bra for your big evening out? Don’t choose– wear them all!

Parah dress, $138

Plausible explanations for this dress:
1. Got torn on the way to the photoshoot, photographer too drunk to notice.
2. Prototype torn up by designer in a fit of rage, hilarious series of mix-ups results in it being sent to the factory for production.
3. Retailer told them to “add a slit,” were not specific enough about placement.

Yeolee jumpsuit, $165

Sure, it may look like a couple of old table runners and a shower curtain, but that’s just because you don’t understand Fashion.

Preen pants, $160

I will only accept these if the panels are interchangeable.

Jil Sander dress, $5980

If you buy this, there is at least a 50% chance you would end up wearing the garment bag by mistake.

Comme des Garcons shorts, $165

How does this happen? How does an item like this make it from conception, though design, prototyping, production, model fittings, runway shows and sales calls without anyone taking one look at it and laughing so hard they choke on their own drool and need to go outside for a bit to recover?

How many drugs are these people on?

3 thoughts on “Ugly Clothes For Rich People, Part VII”

  1. Karen– Probably. And if you cut some holes in it it's like you got two dresses for the price of one. Or for the price of fifty, to be more accurate.

    Cornelia– You can have the pants, as long as you don't wear them for too long in the sun. Unless you want Frankenstein's own tan lines. (And, thanks.)


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