Daisy Bateman

Ugly Clothes For Rich People: Menswear Edition

Conclusive proof that having only one X-chromosome is not sufficient to prevent a person from dressing like an idiot.

DSquared2 Cardigan, $765

Layer under a denim jacket to look both stupid and redundant!

Libertine t-shirt, $150

I realize it’s some sort of guy thing to wear items of clothing until long after they have developed significant holes in them, but this seems like it’s taking things a bit too far.

Veronique Branquinho overalls, $770

The manly style of auto-shop coveralls and the flattering comfort of shorts, together at last!

Neil Barrett vest, $355

“Hey, Chauncy, have you seen the front section of that double-breasted jacket I was working on? I left it right here, next to that pile of things you were going to send to the factory for production, and now I can’t find it.”

Comme des Garcons dickey, $240

We don’t make the shirt. We make the strip of frilly fabric you attach to the shirt. And then we charge you $240 for it.

Ann Demeulemeester jacket, $870

“Oh, honey, that looks so cute on you! Hold still so I can take a picture to send to your Aunt Ann to show her how much you like the jacket she made. Smile!”

Maison Martin Margiela jacket, $1490

What we have here is a demonstration the limitations of the average menswear model. Clearly, this jacket was meant to be worn by the MC for an off-Strip Vegas lounge show, or the guy who tells people on The Price Is Right to come on down.

Yohji Yamamoto coat, $4340

Perfect for that all-important first dinner with her parents!

Balmain t-shirt, $525

I generally try not to list things simply based on price, but honestly, why would you spend more than five hundred dollars on this shirt when you could have this one for a fraction of the cost?

Greg Lauren jacket, $2485

“Dude, seriously, you need to get a new jacket. That thing is embarrassing.” “No, it’s cool, I just bought this.” “You did? What happened to it?” “Nothing happened. It came like this.” “. . . Dude, seriously, you need to get a new jacket.”

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