Daisy Bateman

Shoefinder: Holiday Edition

Going to a holiday party this year? You’re going to need some shoes. That’s where I come in.

For the giant family gathering where you will spend most of the time chasing tiny nieces and nephews around the living room with a nerf gun, because you want them to revere you as the awesome aunt who is both fun and glamorous:

Vera Wang Lavender flats

If your sister-in-law gets annoyed, just point out that she could have fabulous shoes too, if she wasn’t spending all her money on child-rearing. Then smile and say you hope they like the drum set.

For the gathering of high school friends/enemies you haven’t seen in years, who may or may not still think of you primarily as the person who once slipped on a cafeteria tray and toppled six tables, domino-style, before coming to rest on a freshman (who was a good sport about it, considering):

Loeffler Randall “Zuri”

Fun and festive without trying too hard– because even though everything else about you has changed, you still don’t want people to think you care that much.

For a company party in a hotel ballroom, where everyone stands around talking about whether you’ll get acquired and tries not to drink so much that the dance floor starts to sound like a good idea:

Salvatore Ferragamo “Davina”

They say, “I am restrained and professional, and also awesome. Plus, I have very good balance.”

For a work party in the company cafeteria, where too much awesomeness would look out of place and you’d rather just be comfortable:

Sofft “Noral”

These are to the previous as Martinelli’s sparkling apple juice is to champagne: Nowhere near as glamorous or fun, but sweeter and less likely to leave you feeling painful in the morning.

For “It’s Christmas and I want to wear red suede, dammit.”

Kate Spade “Thea”

“It’s Christmas and I want to wear red suede, dammit, and I have larger and/or wider than average feet.”

Stewart Weitzman “Bocelli”

(Available up to size 12 medium in all colors, 10 wide in the brown.)

“I am so sick of everyone wearing red suede just because it’s Christmas. Give me some TEAL.”

Seychelles “All Dressed Up”

For the times you wonder what sort of serious planning deficit caused the peak party season to coincide with the peak rainy season, and regret that sedan chairs haven’t come back into style:

Melissa + Vivienne Westwood “Lady Dragon

I’m pretty sure that’s a Koosh ball on the toe.

For the friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend’s “legendary” New Year’s party:

Michael Antonio “Thea”

Tall enough and shiny enough to make a memorable entrance, cheap enough to not bother you too much when one of them ends up lost in a neighbor’s backyard in the semi-disastrous aftermath of a failed kumquat raid.

For the wild-night-out New Year’s Eve you always promised yourself you would have someday:

Nine West Cress

The heel/platform combo means you’ll have a chance of seeing over the crowd to catch at least a glimpse of the famous DJ, and the last thing you want is to try and fight your way to the open bar in sandals.

For the moment you realize that partying on New Year’s is for amateurs and what you really want to do is sit around at home eating fancy cheeses, drinking champagne with elderflower liquor, watching a Hitchcock movie marathon and admiring your shoes:

Manolo Blahnik “Godichefac”

3 thoughts on “Shoefinder: Holiday Edition”

  1. I did try and think of you, but I only came up with two (I think) vegan options: the nine west and the Melissa ones. Which I admit is kind of limited, but hey, foot Kooshes!


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