The Honking
Can you imagine if they remade The Birds with geese? Decriminalize foie gras! Scary.
Month: March 2012
It’s Called “Personal” Hygene; Let’s Keep It That Way
Things that disgust me, in ascending order: 1. People brushing their teeth in the work bathroom.2. People flossing in the work bathroom.3. The spatter of toothpaste and crud on the mirror that persists for the rest of the day due to people brushing and flossing in the work bathroom. It’s not that I want your … Read more
Stupid Companies Update
Remember this? Well, guess what arrived–twice!– in my inbox today? Dealix Customer Service customerservice@dealixcarbuying.com to me YOUR OPINION WILL CHANGE THINGS. Dear Daisy Zhu, On 03/05/2012 we put you in touch with Prestige Lexus in Ramsey, NJ regarding a new 2011 Lexus GS RWD 350. We can’t wait to take action based on your opinion. … Read more
The Ultimate Purpose of the Internet
What do people like even more than talking about the weather? Reading what other people are thinking about the weather! At least, I’m assuming that’s what the people at the Weather Channel website were thinking when they introduced this feature. On the one hand, I guess it might be useful to have all of the … Read more
Open Letters to Stupid Companies: Lexus of Englewood, New Jersey
Dear Lexus of Englewood, New Jersey, I realize that I am breaking with tradition here by writing directly to you, rather than Daisy Zhu, the person who used my email address when she went to your website in search of a 2011 Lexus. But unfortunately, unlike my other correspondents, she didn’t give me a lot … Read more
Ugly Clothes for Rich People Part IX
They’re here, they’re ugly, you can’t afford it. Rochas bodysuit, $850 Perfect if your Halloween costume is “sexy skin disease.” Haider Ackerman Pants, $1220 Early front-runner for the Least Flattering Pants of the Year award. Maison Martin Margiela smock, $1845 Hey, remember that time you got so drunk you lost all your clothes, and you … Read more
Thurscheese: MYOM*
(Off for two weeks and back with my least popular feature! I rock at this.) Remember that time about forever ago when I spent an afternoon drinking wine and reading Sunset magazine, suddenly decided that I was the kind of person who made things at home and ordered a cheese-making kit and a mushroom log? … Read more