They’re here, they’re ugly, you can’t afford it.
|Rochas bodysuit, $850|
Perfect if your Halloween costume is “sexy skin disease.”
|Haider Ackerman Pants, $1220|
Early front-runner for the Least Flattering Pants of the Year award.
|Maison Martin Margiela smock, $1845|
Hey, remember that time you got so drunk you lost all your clothes, and you had to ride home on the bus with a rug strapped to your torso? And then you sold it for almost two grand? No? Huh. Must’ve been someone else.
|Balenciaga tank top, $1065|
Let’s walk through the thinking about this one. It’s a thing that looks like another thing, but does not function like the other thing. And the other thing is not something that most people even want to look like. You’re basically spending more than a grand to have people stare at you and wonder where the rest of your sweater went, and whether you know that it’s gone.
|Alexander McQueen jacket, $1075|
For the business-casual belly dancer.
|Dolce & Gabana jeans, $610|
Mom jeans: They’re not just for women anymore.