Dear Lexus of Englewood, New Jersey,
I realize that I am breaking with tradition here by writing directly to you, rather than Daisy Zhu, the person who used my email address when she went to your website in search of a 2011 Lexus. But unfortunately, unlike my other correspondents, she didn’t give me a lot of her personal information to work with, so I’m afraid that this will have to do. Therefore, my dear Lexus of Englewood, New Jersey, I’m afraid it falls to you to be the focus of my wrath, thanks in no small part to your decision, after I had sent you two increasingly irritable emails and unsubscribed three times, to continue sending me computer-generated emails inquiring as to my level of interest in buying a 2011 Lexus. So please, Lexus of Englewood, New Jersey, let me take this opportunity to explain to you what you do not seem willing to understand: I do not want to buy a Lexus, from you or from anyone else. In fact, the next time I see a Lexus, I may just set it on fire.
I hope we’re clear on this now.
Thank you for you time, and have a great day!
The Person You Keep Sending Emails To
2 thoughts on “Open Letters to Stupid Companies: Lexus of Englewood, New Jersey”
If you set fire to a Lexus, it just creates more business for the Lexus dealer, because the owner of the burnt Lexus will most likely opt to buy a new Lexus to replace it.
If you're really pissed at Lexus of Englewood, you should set fire to other kinds of cars, thus creating more business for the Lexus dealer's competitors.
Hmmm…. 3 emails after you unsubscribed? Nice.
Also, not-so-CAN-SPAM compliant. If they really won't stop, you could try reporting them: http://www.ehow.com/how_8437590_report-violation-canspam-act.html