Daisy Bateman

The You Paid How Much? Gift Guide

What to buy for that person who has everything, except taste and a brain.

Loro Piana checkers mat, $2050

If I am going to be dropping upwards of two grand (plus shipping) on a piece of felt, I would frankly expect to see an actual picture of it first.

Playing cards sold separately.

Jack Spade scarf, $165

There is nothing wrong with the idea of a humorous novelty scarf that looks like a hotdog. There is, however, something very wrong with the idea of paying $165 for a humorous novelty scarf that looks like a hotdog.

“Survey Stick”, $350

Po-TAY-to/po-TAH-to; beat-up old ruler you stick in the garden to tie up your tomatoes/”survey stick” worth a hundred dollars. Let’s call the whole thing crap.

Boy. Band of Outsiders poncho, $495
Emergency poncho, $3.99

 One of these things is just like the other/One of these prices is totally wrong/Can you tell which thing is for stupid people/Do you even remember this song?

Maison Martin Margiela snowglobe, $195

This, my friends, is a two-hundred-dollar plastic snowglobe. With nothing in it.

It’s backordered.

3 thoughts on “The You Paid How Much? Gift Guide”

  1. I'm sure the snow globe is backordered because people are so excited that they can play with them on airplanes now. Although if you pay that much for a dome of glitter water, I'm guessing the TSA isn't really part of air travel for you.


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