Daisy Bateman

Walk-Up Music Suggestions For the Oakland A’s: Weirdness Edition

Josh Reddick of the Oakland Athletics is my hero. Not because he is a talented player on my favorite baseball team; that’s a terrible reason to admire anyone.* But recently, and apparently on a whim, he decided to choose as his walk-out music “Careless Whisper,” that George-Michael-and-a-saxaphone classic about the long-term affects of guilt on your feet and the rhythm thereof. And I think that’s great. Not just the song, which is obviously awesome, but the addition of a little random weirdness to America’s Pastime. Which, like so many things, could always use a little more random weirdness.

I would like to encourage this sort of thing, so I have assembled a list of similarly-minded walkout songs for the rest of the A’s position players.** Because, when you come right down to it, why not?

John Jaso, C
Let It Go, Idina Menzel
Pros: Might mess with the pitcher’s release point, increased ticket sales among coveted female 6-13 demographic.
Con: The line “Cold never bothered me anyway” might be read as insensitive to attendees at 50-degree August night games.

Derek Norris, C
Yakety Sax
Bonus points if everyone in the dugout runs around, ducks through doors, etc.

Craig Gentry, CF
Bette Davis Eyes, Kim Carnes
Brief delay of game as a karaoke competition breaks out in the upper deck.

Yoenis Cespedes, LF
Take On Me, A-Ha
TV coverage breaks for an ad so the third base umpire heads into the stands to officiate semi-final round.

Josh Donaldson, 3B
Total Eclipse of the Heart,  Bonnie Tyler
In an upset, Bob Melvin takes the trophy with his surprisingly heartfelt rendition.

Kyle Blanks, 1B
MMM MMM MMM MMM, Crash Test Dummies
Everybody, hum!

Coco Crisp, CF
Tiny Dancer, Elton John
Would this song inspire more, less, or an equal amount of arm-waving as Careless Whisper? Discuss.

Eric Sogard, 2B
Hello Dolly, Louis Armstrong
You know what professional sports needs? More showtunes.

Nick Punto, SS
The Impossible Dream, Brian Stokes Mitchell

Brandon Moss, 1B
And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going, Jennifer Holliday

Jed Lowrie, SS
It’s the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine), REM
Entire stadium: *mumblemumblesomethingsomethingLEO-NARD BERN-STEIN*

Alberto Callaspo, 2B
Take Your Mama, Scissor Sisters
Let’s see how far we can take this thing.

*I am completely serious about this.
**Pitchers will have to be another post. I’m thinking maybe TV theme songs?

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