Daisy Bateman

Blogging the Met: Mostly Jars

They have a lot of stuff at the Met[citation needed]. Pieces of rock that might have been part of something, pieces of rock that might have been used for something, sherds, etc. But, if you are going by the things they have collected that are not pieces of something else, a person might be forgiven for thinking the ancient world was made up almost entirely of jars.

Big jars:

That, or they have some small jar stands.

Small jars:

I just made some plum jam and put it in jars almost exactly this shape. Not pottery, though.

Really small jars:

Or very large elephant tusks.

Jars that are from somewhere other than the Middle East*:

Wait, are you telling me there were people in other places having cultures and stuff? I find that hard to believe.

Jars that at one point had a person’s organs in them**:

What do you do if you end up with some extra bits that don’t fit?

Jars that I quite like:

The color is nice and it just looks like something that would be pleasing to handle.

Multiple-jar jars:

“Clockwise from the top, we have ketchup, mustard and our house made pepper sauce.”

Massively-multiple-jar jars:

“Starting in the center and moving out, we have. . .”

Cow-shaped jars***:

Given as a gift to an Elamite woman who said one time that she liked cows, and ended up with a whole house full of cow stuff, because she couldn’t figure out how to explain that she didn’t really like them that much.

Decorated jars:

The museum thinks it’s a boat, but I’m seeing two air conditioner units riding a flying carpet.

Undecorated jars:

Dirt doesn’t count.

Overly decorated jars:

That’s just tacky.


Would someone please pass the twenty-two-hundred year-old artifact?

In conclusion: Jars.****

***This one may not actually be plural.
****You would not believe how many ways there are to mistype that word.

3 thoughts on “Blogging the Met: Mostly Jars”

  1. Hey Marjorie, just wanted to let you know that your Death Trap stories are some of my all-time favorite short stories. I'm looking forward to seeing more work from you!


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