All the Things that Happened on S1E4 of American Idol: Group 1 Results Show

0:11 Opening credits. 0:43 Ryan and Brian are both wearing khakis. 2:04 Paula tries to deliver a zinger, fails badly. 4:23 I am reasonably confident that Ryan is NOT wearing a pukka shell necklace. 8:03 Tamyra Gray is the first person put through to the next round. 10:38 “Weakest Link” joke. 13:26 Ryan Starr gets … Read more

Not-Exactly-Live-Blogging American Idol Season 1 Episode 2: Not-Exactly-Hollywood Week

The first ever “Hollywood” Week was held in Pasadena, which is at least somewhat closer to being Hollywood than Anaheim is to being Los Angeles, so they’re already one up on a certain major league baseball team. Personally, I never cared much for Hollywood week, wherever it was located. There were rarely any memorable performances, … Read more

Joke You Will Not Get Unless You Watch American Idol and Idolatry* As Obsessively As I Do

“And, you know, the thing about a Tim Urban… he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be living… until he sings at ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’.” *Small amount of context … Read more

AAGH!

Said by “Sir” Andrew Lloyd Webber to David Cook during their rehearsal segment on tonight’s American Idol: “Look at me like I’m the most beautiful seventeen-year-old girl in the world. Look into my eyes and sing to me.” GAH!

Starring: Me!

Well, not starring, exactly, but I did get to be the featured reader on EW.com’s Idolatry webcast this week. Which is just about as cool as anything that has happened to me lately. I got the call on my cell phone on my way to work yesterday, just as I was about to merge from … Read more