Daisy Bateman

Flying Shark Attacks Golf Course

Oh sure, the so-called authorities will claim it was dropped by a bird, but I think we all know the truth: At this moment, thousands of vicious, many-toothed man-eaters are preparing themselves for an aerial assault on our nations golfers, and there is a very real chance that we may not be there to watch. … Read more

Black and White and Noir All Over

Penguins: The enlightened suburbanites of the animal world. Community-oriented and conservatively dressed, they moved to a dull, out-of-the-way, but safe, neighborhood for the sake of their children, and the parents take turns commuting to fish. But could there be a dark side to this domestic simplicity? A criminal element lurking in their midst, spoiling a … Read more

What Would You Name Them?

I don’t have any faith with my ability with fish tanks– I can barely keep an african violet alive on my desk. But if I did, and I happened to have $350 lying around and some space in the living room, I would totally get this personal jellyfish tank: Isn’t that amazing? Don’t tell me … Read more

Watch Out For Frogs*

When we last spoke** I mentioned that I was back from Vegas, and then vanished again. Not, as you might imagine, to sleep off the hangover, but to head up the coast for a relaxing long weekend in Bodega Bay, a place with no showgirls at all. It was a lovely trip that was exciting … Read more