Daisy Bateman

The Googlebet II

I did this once before, back in 2008, when the world was a different place*. But I think it’s time to revisit, so here you are, for the second time: The most commonly searched words as predicted by Google’s autofill function for each letter of the alphabet.** A is for Amazon B is for Best … Read more

Reality Shows On Which Tiger Woods’s Mistresses Are Likely To Appear*, In Order Of Decreasing Probability

1. Cheaters (duh)2. Rock of Love Bus3. Jersey Shore4. Tool Academy5. The Bachelor6. The Real Housewives of Orange County/New York/D.C./Atlanta/the parking lot behind the Waffle House7. Celebrity Apprentice8. Celebrity Fit Club9. Celebrity Rehab10. Dancing With the Stars11. Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?12. Dirty Jobs13. Hoarders14. The Ultimate Fighter15. Top Chef16. Little People, Big … Read more

The Top Ten All-Time Worst Things to Step In

10. Excrement, herbivore9. A shallow hole8. Burning coals, when you have not achieved the proper mental state* to walk across them unscathed7. Excrement, carnivore6. It5. An unidentifiable thing that goes “squish”4. Excrement, omnivore3. A deep hole2. A mud-filled sinkhole in the Everglades*1. A land mine *as represented by foot speed*skip ahead to 4:15 for relevant … Read more