I did this once before, back in 2008, when the world was a different place*. But I think it’s time to revisit, so here you are, for the second time: The most commonly searched words as predicted by Google’s autofill function for each letter of the alphabet.** A is for Amazon B is for Best … Read more
10. Best Celebrity Mug ShotsI can’t decide which is my favorite: The Smashing Pumpkins bass player who was booked for her horses getting out, or Andy Dick being arrested for public intoxication at a Marie Callendars. 9. Best Pieces of Random Inspirational Pablum, As Chosen By Their WriterOr, rather, by the person who flipped through … Read more
5. It’ll cook down. 4. That looks done. 3. I can totally pull off green eyeshadow.* 2. If I put enough sauce on it no one will notice. And the number one lie I tell myself while cooking: 1. I’ll do those dishes later. *Not cooking-related, just in general.
(This post secretly written by the ghost of William Shakespeare.) Lately, people seem to be getting kind of nuts about bacon. Not that I don’t understand that– bacon is definitely tasty, what with its winning trifecta of pork, fat and salt. But there are lots of other things that are also tasty, and people seem … Read more
1. Cheaters (duh)2. Rock of Love Bus3. Jersey Shore4. Tool Academy5. The Bachelor6. The Real Housewives of Orange County/New York/D.C./Atlanta/the parking lot behind the Waffle House7. Celebrity Apprentice8. Celebrity Fit Club9. Celebrity Rehab10. Dancing With the Stars11. Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?12. Dirty Jobs13. Hoarders14. The Ultimate Fighter15. Top Chef16. Little People, Big … Read more
1. Go inside any major government building.2. Visit the MoMA, the Met or any other easily-abbreviated New York museum.3. See one of the many Broadway shows featuring an American Idol runner-up in the cast.4. See any Broadway shows at all.5. Sleep nearly enough.6. See Dorothy’s shoes, Jerry’s shirt, the First Ladies’ gowns or any of … Read more
7. Hamsterdance!6. Back to Aquamarine5. Rod Stewart Sings the American Songbook4. . . . And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Happy Bunnies*3. Dark Side of the Oreo2. Not In The Face! Not In The Face!1. Licensed To Il Divo *Yes, I know that’s a band name.
10. Excrement, herbivore9. A shallow hole8. Burning coals, when you have not achieved the proper mental state* to walk across them unscathed7. Excrement, carnivore6. It5. An unidentifiable thing that goes “squish”4. Excrement, omnivore3. A deep hole2. A mud-filled sinkhole in the Everglades*1. A land mine *as represented by foot speed*skip ahead to 4:15 for relevant … Read more
6. Gloves5. A chinchilla4. Five pounds of gruyere3. Hope for a better tomorrow2. Pirate treasure1. Yourself
15. Plangent14. Peregrine13. Pi 12. Passel 11. Parallelogram 10. Psoriasis 9. Patsy 8. Puce 7. Periwinkle 6. Pneumatic 5. Persnickety 4. Palliative 3. Pert 2. Parsimonious 1. Pollywog