Joke You Will Not Get Unless You Watch American Idol and Idolatry* As Obsessively As I Do

“And, you know, the thing about a Tim Urban… he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be living… until he sings at ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’.” *Small amount of context … Read more

Your Thursday Insanity

Because it is Thursday, I thought I would try and come up with with something insane to post for you enjoyment. But I’ve got nothing, because all of the insanity in the world is being used up by this trailer. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: RoboGeisha. (Note: Contains some inappropriate material. Though, shockingly, it … Read more

Attn: SciFi channel

I have found the plot of your next TV movie. I’m thinking Josh Duhamel and Jamie Pressly as the maverick scientist and hot park ranger, respectively, and Ray Wise for the evil government flunky. With David Arquette on comic relief and Coolio playing some kind of military guy, of course. And, playing the snake, some … Read more

Department of “Huh”

Did you know that the chimpanzee who played Cheeta in the Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan movies is still alive, seventy-six years old and living in Palm Springs? I found that surprising, all things considered. Not only that a chimp could live that long, or that his retirement would so closely resemble a human’s (apparently that’s encoded … Read more

Ol’ Man River

Saw the 1936 version of Show Boat last night, at the classics theater in Palo Alto. (I thought it was going to be the 1951 MGM version, because I’m not that careful about reading listings, but that’s neither here nor there.) It was fun, if a bit inclined to melodrama and seriously cringe-inducing in places, … Read more