I Know This Conceit Has Kind Of Been Done To Death, But. . .
Spiders on a Boat Update: Never mind, someone already made it. Update 2: But wait! What if the spiders could swim? What if they were. . . (wait for it). . . Ocean Spiders!
movies
Winesday: The Chardonnay That Ate San Mateo
Actually, that’s really not fair; it isn’t a particularly big or aggressive wine at all. Not too sharp, not overly buttery, pairs excellently with an evening sitting around watching terrible, terrible movies on the SciFi* channel. Cameron was away for the weekend, living the high life** in Vegas for his friend’s bachelor party, which meant … Read more
Joke You Will Not Get Unless You Watch American Idol and Idolatry* As Obsessively As I Do
“And, you know, the thing about a Tim Urban… he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be living… until he sings at ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’.” *Small amount of context … Read more
The Most Unintentionally Ironic & Kind of Sad Song I Have Heard in a While
From The Happiest Millionaire: “The Land of Golden Chariots” Detroit!
Your Thursday Insanity
Because it is Thursday, I thought I would try and come up with with something insane to post for you enjoyment. But I’ve got nothing, because all of the insanity in the world is being used up by this trailer. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: RoboGeisha. (Note: Contains some inappropriate material. Though, shockingly, it … Read more
Claw Box
The Box That Claws People! (See here for reference.) (Language warning.)
Attn: SciFi channel
I have found the plot of your next TV movie. I’m thinking Josh Duhamel and Jamie Pressly as the maverick scientist and hot park ranger, respectively, and Ray Wise for the evil government flunky. With David Arquette on comic relief and Coolio playing some kind of military guy, of course. And, playing the snake, some … Read more
Department of “Huh”
Did you know that the chimpanzee who played Cheeta in the Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan movies is still alive, seventy-six years old and living in Palm Springs? I found that surprising, all things considered. Not only that a chimp could live that long, or that his retirement would so closely resemble a human’s (apparently that’s encoded … Read more
Key Quotes From the Movie “Anaconda 3” Starring David Hasselhoff
“That abandoned factory is just the kind of place a giant snake would want to make its home.” “Where there’s blood, there’s more blood.”
Ol’ Man River
Saw the 1936 version of Show Boat last night, at the classics theater in Palo Alto. (I thought it was going to be the 1951 MGM version, because I’m not that careful about reading listings, but that’s neither here nor there.) It was fun, if a bit inclined to melodrama and seriously cringe-inducing in places, … Read more