Daisy Bateman

Three Things You Probably Already Heard About

But better safe than sorry: On the one hand, this seems like an excellent idea. On the other hand, having people dressed in full-body-suits grab children in dark movie theaters seems like it might have the potential to go wrong in some way. Final, irrefutable proof that having a child makes you insane. Sometimes, completely … Read more

Feet?

This is a sign that’s posted on the Caltrain shuttle: And this is the only type of openable window on said shuttle: I don’t know about you, but I really want to see someone try.

Ode to the Person in the Neighboring Cubicle

I don’t know how to say this, butI hate you.Harsh but accurate. I hate your endless personal phone callsYour novelty ringtoneYour eternal coughing thatechoes across the empty office space. I find it annoying everyone elsein your group was laid off.But you weren’t. And more than anything I hatethe way that every conversation you haveis just … Read more

The Real Dino-Chickens of Orange County

Remember Dino-Chickens? It turns out someone is trying to do it for real. I’ll admit, I have my questions about his genetics methodology, in the sense that he doesn’t really have one, but the real reason this annoys me is that now everyone is going to be writing Dino-Chicken books, and I’m going to look … Read more