Daisy Bateman

Physics Question

They resupplied the free Cokes at work today, which was good. No complaints there. But they weren’t cold, so I put one in the freezer for a while. When I took it out of the freezer and opened it, I found that it had partially frozen, so I left it on my desk while I … Read more

Deep Impaction

Reporting from work, where the farewell emails keep pouring in after last week’s layoffs. (By the way, did you know what the new word is? We’ve had fired, let go, laid off, made redundant, downsized and rightsized. Now, apparently, when you suddenly find yourself without employment, you’ve been “impacted.” Like a molar.) But the thing … Read more

Free-Association Monday

This morning, I got in to work to find that, of the fourteen plates I had transformed on Friday and left to grow over the weekend, nine had worked and five didn’t. (Not terrible, but I could have hoped for better.) And as a result, this song has been playing in my head all day: … Read more

Foot Soldier

It has come to pass that my car has had a certain degree of misfortune, involving the engine, a non-functioning oil light and a really horrible noise. So it went to live at the dealer’s, where it has stayed for the last month while the issue of whether or not they will honor the warranty … Read more

Redwood City Crime Wave!

From my work email inbox this morning: “There have been reports that thieves have recently been stealing the catalytic converters of certain vehicles, especially Toyota pickup trucks and SUVs, in the Redwood City area. These thieves go under a target vehicle and quickly remove the converter with special tools. At least two such thefts have … Read more

Marjorie James, Proud Employee of “Biotech Co.”

There are a number of ways a person can change employers. You can quit, staple your letter of resignation to your boss’s forehead and ride off to a life of glamor and ease and excellent cafeteria food. You can be fired, for threatening to staple things to your boss’s forehead, and eventually get work as … Read more

Going. . .Going. . . Going . . .

It’s been about a week and a half since the big layoffs announcement and the exits are well and truly underway. Some people send out goodbye emails, some wander around the building saying their farewells, some I don’t even know they’re going until they’re gone. We had a kind of mass going-away party in the … Read more

Here We Go

This is the fan: Today, something is going to hit it. I have it on good authority that it will not be me. Stay tuned for further updates. UPDATE FOR THOSE PEOPLE ACTUALLY READING THIS OUT OF INTEREST IN MY EMPLOYMENT SITUATION*: The thing that everybody knew was going to happen, happened, and the upshot … Read more

Valentine’s Noir

Last Thursday I came in to work to find a small bag of candy on my desk, carefully prepared by a coworker for all the members of our group. I’ve been nibbling on it ever since, and today I happened to read the writing printed on the pretty, pink-striped bag: Life was beautiful then. I … Read more